I recently had the opportunity to purchase some software in an IT role. Everything went well until I needed a modification to my billing. Easy enough, according to the software’s website. Just email us and we’ll apply the modification. So I shot off an email asking to apply a modification to my billing.

I received a friendly response from a salesman: “How are you planning to use our product?” OK, fine, he can get his metrics. I’m not opposed to that. So I shot off another email, briefly describing my use case. Additionally, I mentioned that we have subscribed to this software; we’re running a trial period for it and plan to fully roll it out before long, barring any major hiccups.

The salesman’s next reply took me off guard. “I think our product will work well for you. Let’s set up a sales call.” I’m sorry, what?! I already told you that I have bought your product; you don’t have to sell it to me again.

Let’s go back in time to an entirely different yet hauntingly familiar incident.

Some time ago, I was asked to look into purchasing email security software. This seemed like a straightforward task. However, I was dumbfounded to see that it was impossible to purchase email security software… unless you were willing to go through a sales call. You couldn’t even find pricing numbers on product websites. For at least one company, I filled out the contact form with an invalid phone number so I could ask for pricing without worrying that my phone would start ringing off the hook.

In both of these cases, the software in question is aimed squarely at IT professionals. Lest we forget, the stereotypical IT worker is an introverted nerd who hates talking to people. If you are trying to sell something to an introvert who hates talking to people, your selling point should be a self-service checkout, so the introvert can avoid sales calls.

I’m not an idiot; neither am I incapable of research. When I need to purchase software, I research my options, compare their features (and price), and decide which best meets my needs. Then I go searching for an “add to cart” button. If I am met instead with “Schedule a call,” I am not pleased. I already decided I was going to give you money; you don’t have to sell your product to me again.

If I have a question about your product during the research phase, I’ll first refer to the internet. If I can’t surface anything useful myself, I may see if an LLM knows the answer. Only if neither the internet nor an LLM can help me will I send your sales team an email, because I know they will hound me for money and try to set up sales calls that I don’t want. A self-service sale should be much more meaningful than a sale that is the result of a sales team, because it means the customer liked your product without you breathing down their neck about it. In fact, your “Features” page on your website should be the entirety of your sales team.

Shut up and take my money.